Freedom from Our Stories
Sorry. It’s a trick headline. You might think I mean the power of tales to ignite independence, especially since we Americans are celebrating the Fourth. But actually, I’m obsessing a bit over the stories that keep us trapped.
It started with my youngest son, Seán. For years, he was convinced that his big brother was a bully. He had elaborate recollections of how Ciarán – for no reason at all – tormented, wrestled, pinned, and made him cry. The older he got, the more the memories magnified.
That is, until we watched some long-forgotten videos that their dad dug up and digitized.
In one hilarious segment, six-year-old Ciarán is playing with Seán, then three. Out of the blue, Seán sucker punches his brother, pulls him down onto the carpet, then jumps full force on top of him. Ciarán, momentarily stunned, finally giggles. He stands, helps his little brother up and leans in to hug him. Just as quickly, Seán barrels forward to head-butt his target again, propelling his big brother back to the ground. And when Ciarán rises a second time and decides to run away, the ever-tactical Seán slides down quickly with leg out, causing his sibling to trip over him and crash to the floor once more.
I don’t know whether I got a bigger kick out of watching the footage or Seán’s reaction to it. He laughed at the first take-down, then just stared quietly. At the end, after Ciarán made a desperate get-away, Seán whispered, “Wow, I’ve had it wrong all this time.”
Now grown, my sons are best friends, yet this memory got me thinking. Of course Ciarán snuck in his share of knocks over the years, but certainly not enough to do what it did to Seán’s psyche. Yet we all – as individuals, tribes, nations – have these ingrained narratives.
Some, indeed, can launch liberty, link generations, and kindle love. But many fuel resentments and perpetuate conflict. And that’s why I think we need freedom from our stories.
What memories do you have that sink you in anger, shame, or sadness? Which current event buzz do you believe that makes anyone with a different opinion the enemy?
So, here’s to sifting through our tales – personal and global – and releasing the ones that keep us locked in. That’s real independence!
Wishing you (s)miles of peace on this 4th of July,
Merry