HBD to My Life-Changing Duo

Cheers and gratitude (and happy birthday) to these wonderful human beings who each set my life in a new direction.

1.  Ciarán Patrick Brennan (July 17, 1992 - )

Twenty-nine years ago, I sat deep in the Peruvian rainforest. A full moon floated just above the horizon, more brilliant than a Hollywood movie set. A jungle symphony of coos, chirps and rhythmic buzzes provided the soundtrack. 

A dozen other travelers circled around me for a ritual. My ritual. My miraculous fertility ritual. After 14 years of tests, surgery, hormones, and hopelessness – then finally acceptance – I was having a baby. I could barely take in the reality.

It was the third week of my four-month journey through South America. Through a perfect coincidence, I was backpacking with a woman I met just months before; she happened to be a New York midwife. I kept telling her that I couldn’t have children, that my unusual nausea had to be from Andes altitude and greasy food, that my cycle was always off.  

But Sarah, who cared for many Peruvian women in her NYC practice, was eager to check out the health facilities in the jungle city of Iquitos. When she asked me to pretend I might be pregnant, I humored her. 

We found a walk-in “Laboratorio Clinicos,” with no running water, no clean cups, and barely enough electricity to light the tiny cement room. I eyed the archaic microscope, glad I was only play-acting. Then I left a urine sample and took off to explore the dirt-street city while Sarah, thrilled, stayed behind.

When I returned hours later, the Peruvian lab tech waved her slide in the air with a smiling exclamation: "Es positivo!" Even all these years later, I still feel the shock-elation-blessing-awe at those two words that forever changed my life.

In those pre-tech days, it would be several weeks before I could share the amazing news with my partner back in New Jersey. Meanwhile, with suddenly more careful steps, Sarah and I journeyed four hours down the Amazon River to the village of Tamshiyacu and another two on foot through lush rainforest to a remote shamanic retreat, where we were spending two weeks with Shaman Don Augustine Rivas.

My miraculous news prompted the revered medicine man to honor me with a fertility ceremony. For hours, he danced, chanted, invoked, and played his sweet flute, while a circle of fellow travelers joined in. Enveloped in moonlight, incense, and all the sounds of the thick, lush South American "serva," I truly welcomed my shift to motherhood. 

In a very different world of diapers, food mills and two more children, I often lost myself and my connection to the Earth. But every July 17, as I celebrated Ciarán’s birthday, I was always transported, even if briefly, back to the magic of that night in the jungle.

And now, as my “miracle” baby turns 29, I’m certain at some level he holds our walk among sacred Incan ruins and feels the life force of the rainforest. Perhaps that’s even what gives my fantastically talented drummer son his mojo! 

2.  Peace Pilgrim (July 18, 1908 - July 8, 1981)

Eight years before Ciaran’s birth, I had fallen into a much darker, sadder space. You wouldn’t know it from my happy-face veneer, yet years of infertility, a failed marriage, and questions of self-worth left me completely hollow. Then I received a small, unassuming booklet titled, “Steps Toward Inner Peace… Harmonious Principles for Human Living by Peace Pilgrim.” 

I don’t even remember who gave it to me, but this tiny treasure opened my eyes to possibility, love, and grace. Long before the internet, I looked for everything I could about this astonishing New Jersey native. In 1953, she gave up everything she owned and walked across the U.S. for the next 28 years with only the clothes on her back spreading her message of inner peace. 

Although she made her “glorious transition to a better place” in 1981, Peace Pilgrim’s words continued to inspire people around the world – including me. In moments of doubt or distress, I’d reach for, Peace Pilgrim: Her Life and Work in Her Own Words, another free offering from Friends of Peace Pilgrim (FOPP), a group that came together after her passing. 

The more I learned, the more I wanted to share her wisdom, especially with children. It took me years, but in 2013 I finally published my middle-grade biographical novel, Peace Pilgrim: Walking Her Talk Against Hate. I’m thrilled it has reached many school kids and also has introduced my mentor to so many others, particularly middle-age moms. I also help maintain the FOPP website, newsletter, and social media posts, which inspire people all over the world.

We can never know which seemingly small gestures impact our lives, but that tiny booklet years ago certainly transformed mine.

Who has made a remarkable difference in YOUR life?